YaThink?'

Wow, I'm not very good right now. I'm breaking my promise to myself every so often and those doubts and bad vibes are entering my head more easily now. Why is that? Whenever I feel like this is happening, I feel as if I'm telling others to have self confidence in themselves, but I can't even practice my own word. What is it that makes me feel this way? Those doubts that go into my mind just cause my curiosity to soar. I feel as if I need to be more - prettier, sleezier, and more "available". Sometimes playing hard to get is a tough game because you won't never when playing hard is too hard. When these feelings within me arise.. the feeling to be more than what I am.. I know that I'm going overboard. Otherwise, if I listen to these feelings, I lose myself. I get lost in what other people want me to be. I really need strength right now, God. I need courage, patience, hope, and a clear, open mind. I need the ability to trust more once again, but my trust has been wavered. I need you, Lord.

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Okay, so school = GAY. I'm really just OVER school right now.. Too many damn tests and projects are piling up.. and besides that I have LAMDA, weekend masses at churches, internships, class office elections. I'm not a complainer, but ayeeee, everything is piling up. I'm worried I won't have enough free time. I really want summer as of right now. But, I still have three more weeks - those three weeks including finals. I neeeda finish the school year well. Hopefully, I'll gain maybe a KIWIN'S appointed position or become Soph Class Secretary, which btw, like 7 people are running for! Jaysssuuss. Oh well. I'm hoping the end of the school year will be a good finish. Ahhh, I need inspiration for my speech! And soo.. Okay, off I go to study Religion & Spanish and read Great Expectations.

Lates.