Halloween was a complete dud. There were no trick-or-treaters and I didn't have time to find a costume. :( Chris & I passed out candy and just hung out around the house.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm putting too much into this relationship then I need to. It's just times like this where he feels "tired and uninspired" and I just feel bad. When really.. I don't know why I should feel bad. I just do. It sickens me how I'm so hard about myself.. How I hate that I am a perfectionist at heart, when really I have done no mistake within itself. I'm beginning to get afraid that I'm overdoing it.. That I'm trying too hard to be hot or sexy or whatever shit that I just need to stop, and be natural. Get the clump of makeup off your face. Save the sleeziness for next year's halloween costume. It's time to get real. Time to go back in the past and relive those good days.

It's time.