FRESH.

chris is off on his camping trip today. at first i thought it was in the wilderness, but he told me he's in a beach in santa barbara. he's called me quite a bit today... and it just shows you what nature can truly do to you. just being away from the fast high-paced life for a little bit is really eye-opening. we discussed a little about how he wishes we didnt have so many ups & downs...

... but i differ. but don't get me wrong. i hate arguing with chris. it's just that without those arguments.. we wouldn't have the love we have today. we wouldn't realize how hard we both work for this love to work out in the end. we wouldn't have that feeling of "luckiness" like we do right now. there's something about this love with chris that turns me upside down and makes my heart just.. soar. things aren't like how they used to be before. we used to literally text each other 24/7. now, we text everyday, but nothing compared to last time. i think it's because we know that we will always be there for each other. there have been those doubts. there have been those second thoughts, those qualms in our mind that seem to shake both of us. but now those are gone because we have found faith; we have found trust in one another.

and this summer was full of those ups-and-downs chris and i have never even knew would exist. my philippines vacation was one of the most difficult times i've had so far in this relationship. i would wonder for two weeks about him. about girls around him. about our love. will this survive? and we scratched a little, and we tossed a little but in the end we got it good. and still to this day we might have problems but he should know that without him i cannot live another day. he is the main reason for my happiness; my joy; my jubilant attitude. the past has always been something that i've dwelt on too much. he has opened my eyes; made me see that today is what matters. that the love that we both have for each other is honestly one of the most beautiful things i have today in this world. love doesn't just "work". you have to work at love. you've got to experiment, add a little bit of this, a little bit of that, mix it together.. until the perfect solution is finally found. and that's what love has done for me. it has experimented and changed me, and i know it still will. but just to know that i am in love...

it's an indescribable feeling.