TRYING.

i feel so. frustrated right now.

I LOVE YOU.

why is it that i am always blamed for things that i am trying to work on? i'm trying my best. but you just don't realize it. i ALWAYS find time for you. like yesterday how i found time for you after the quince. i know all i do is go to your house because I DONT KNOW if you're up for the things i want to do. and i never want to go out because i know you're TIRED from debut practice so i want to give you a break and calm you down instead of work you up and you end up not having fun. and don't even say you always go to my house. you've only been to my house twice recently compared to all the times i go over to your house. i know it's hard to bike up my hill, but dont think im not GRATEFUL for this. we can go somewhere, it's not like i object. and i went to this sleepover to have a girls night out... because this is an ANNUAL thing we do. i rarely have my saturday evenings busy and YOU KNOW THAT. i'm tired, babe. why can't you see that i am doing all i can? i'm not even making you WAIT. i saw you yesterday. i always find time for you because i know i can. my best is never enough.

babe, i don't need to see you everyday. although i honestly WANT to. but you need time to grow. and i do too. because after a while since ive seen you, i miss you even more. my love for you is so deep babe that i'm so far out in the ocean. i don't care about SEX or HOW YOU LOOK. absolutely nothing like that. i care about YOU and how since im your girlfriend i can give you all the love you possibly deserve. I TRY.

i do.
but somehow.
you just don't see it.