HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ALONE IN A CROWDED ROOM?

so, i haven't blogged in the longest time. and i do have a lot of thoughts on my mind...
school has gotten me so busy this past week. i'm stuck with 2 hours of homework. i really want to do well. after i bombed that algebra pop quiz, i'm determined to focus and concentrate on school as much as i can... but how will i know when too much is too much? but.. i don't think i'm overdoing it. i'm trying to do all i can: train for basketball, interest in clubs, make new friends, give my boyfriend the love he deserves..

this week.. i'm really into a contemplative mood. i just read alllll my old xanga entries about him. ohhh man. what to say... my past with him goes all the way back to the last saturday of february of this year. he is like this person on a treadmill in my mind, and he doesn't seem to stop. i wish i could see my babe everyday... i wouldnt grow tired of him, i could promise you that. i want to show him the love he deserves, but i have to maintain composure and my thoughts have to align.
he's starting school and since he's a junior, he'll probably be in more activities. visions club, bball maybe, choir... i don't know what else. all of us wish that we had a camera on our loved one just so we could know what they're doing.. i mean cmon. admit it, even i wish i had that on chris. but i have trust in him.. and that's basically all i can do. i pray each day that he doesn't abandon that trust. i don't want him to drift and be the person he was when i met him.. because he's developed into much more.. more handsome, more chivalrous, more sweet, wiser, and more understanding.
as of right now, i try not to take anything for granted. not just with my boyfriend but with school, friends, and church. i embrace all aspects of my life, but if only i developed something in my mind that would just put away those doubts... i'd embrace my life to the fullest.
my mind is filled with the craziest things.. some things i cannot help thinking because of just.. logical thinking. some doubts, some fears, some excitement, some curiosity. though i know my mind will never fully be cleared of those doubts and fears, i try my best to conquer them and ignore them.

all i've got to do is hope, think, and pray.