Reality Check #1

So, today I realized the effects of gddamn DayLight Savings -__- So mofackin sleepy in the morning. It's like getting up at 4:30. Why is Lucys so freakin far ?! It's like.. night when we pick up Marielle from her house, haha.

Anyways, this weekend.. I just realized I gotta stop. I gotta stop doing this to myself. I gotta stop thinking, doubting, being like this. I can't be like my mom at times.. I can't have this uncontrolled temper. I need to stop and think what the hail I'm doing, cause it can really fxck stuff up. With this Lenten season goin on, "a new beginning" is starting for me. All thoughts, all doubts.. away. Everything from the last five months.. I'm officially done with. I know it'll be hard for me, because last time I promised myself this, there was always that feeling deep down inside that just doubted myself. And there's the other thing, I must admit my faults - I was insecure. And how.. do I go on giving advice to people, to help them straight up.. when I don't even listen to my own advice and I do the contrary? I know sometimes it's not a sin to want more, but as of right now.. I realized that I'm taking this measure too far. I need to calm down. And remember that most people don't have the fabulous life I have right now.. And that's why I needa be thankful. I really wish that sometimes the truth would just emerge, and I wouldn't have to stop thinking & guessing.. because my assumptions just aren't always the optimistic sometimes. But from now on, I'm done. Done with my past thoughts. Past doubts. I need to stop before it goes out of control. I need to remember that love that bloomed, and not ruin. Not suck the nectar out of that beautiful flower of love because.. then the life of the flower can stay. I wanna make this work. And I'm convinced that sweepin my flaws away will make it better. This is Reality Check #1.. and as of now, I'll be posting these from time to time.

Oh, and I got our Sadies pictures today. They look real cutes (:

God, give me strength <3